Life Needs Beliefs and Dreams

I am watching the movie Eat, Pray, and Love now. An Italian guy is making fun of American people: "You feel guilty [about only eating but not working] because you are American. You don't know how to enjoy yourself. Americans know entertainment, but don't know pleasure. Americans, you work too hard. You get burned out. Then you come home, and spend the whole weekend in your pajamas in front of the TV. " I feel I am much much much worse in knowing what is pleasure, and always feel guilty about not working. However, my body is getting lazier and lazier and refuses to work.Actually, learning how to enjoy myself is also a kind of work to me, and I feel it's a difficult work and don't want to do. So the result is that I am doing nothing, neither play nor work, and only feel guilty about myself.

Sometimes, I feel I am too real, I am too aware of and also afraid of reality. I do everything on purpose. I try to be nice with every person around, but I hide myself, and I don't know how to enjoy myself, and I lost passion towards many things very soon. Last night, I spent Christmas Eve in my adviser's house. A friend expressed great passion about elder people by translating alive a speech on YouTube given by a French Granny. Although I cannot understand French, I was really moved, not by the French Granny, but by the friend's passion towards that speech. I am moved that there are still people really care about peace, animals, senior citizens, environment, and there are still people really believe the world could be a better place. I am not saying that I used to not believe, it's just I felt those are out of my control, so I don't dare to believe, because my belief couldn't change anything. Now I feel, actually I belief maybe could change something, at least myself. 

Life needs beliefs and dreams. Not all dreams need to come true; not all dreams need a plan to be implemented, to be realized. Some dreams, they will never come true, and you just hold them deep in you heart, and sleep with them with smiles.